The holiday season comes with a lot of conflicting emotions for me. The older I get, the less I enjoy large boisterous gatherings (unless I’m on stage!!) and the more I crave quiet peaceful days at home with no obligations looming over me so I can lounge around in my comfy clothes, read a book or watch a mindless t.v. show. THAT’s what I look forward to. The Down Time. I tend to feel an unusual sense of calm, which is hard to reconcile amidst the insane traffic and louder sales pitches cluttering the TVs, phones, and inboxes. Who knows what the coming year will bring so my plan is to revel in what’s left of 2024 by tuning out the politics and focusing on the people I love. I don’t buy into the commercial Christmas crap and would be happier if the gift-giving part of our traditions were left behind so we could find other ways to show each other how much we love and appreciate them. Not to be all Scroogy but gifts from well-meaning friends and family rarely hit the mark and the enthusiasm of the recipient is usually an act to make the giver feel good. So what’s wrong with that? If it makes your friend or loved one happy to give you a gift and you mean enough to them that they’re willing to spend their hard-earned money on you, it’s your job to accept that gift graciously and if said gift ends up haunting the various surfaces of the house you’re trying desperately to declutter until you finally swallow the guilt and donate it to Good Will hoping it’ll find a home with someone who would actually use or enjoy it, that’s just how it goes. It doesn’t matter that those who truly know you, also know how uncomfortable it feels to be given a gift when you can’t or choose not to reciprocate.
Dear Abby, Should I tell my friend to stop buying me gifts? Answer: Maybe the best gift you can give them is to LET THEM buy you a gift. If it makes them happy.
I was chatting with my mom the other day about the self-imposed pressure to buy “the right” gift for someone and how much we used to agonize over those decisions. We’ve long since outgrown the exuberant anticipation of Christmas mornings around the tree tearing into packages filled with shiny new objects chosen “by Santa” from a list we labored over. The thing is, I remember getting so much joy out of watching my siblings open presents that I had picked out for them. So, yeah, I get that by saying “no presents this year” we deprive our loved ones of that joy. As I said, conflicting emotions. I guess the answer is to drop the expectations and just appreciate… all of it.
Big love and happy holidays from us!